Call Me Maybe, the Creepy Chat Roulette Dude Version

Chat Roulette Meets ‘Call Me Maybe’ With Hilarious Results

By now we’re certain that you’ve heard of Carly Rae Jepsen, the girl who sings “Call Me Maybe” and who has, inadvertently, spawned countless parodies. If you haven’t we’ll give you this moment to VIEW THE ORIGINAL and catch yourself up to speed.

For about as long as anyone can remember the hit song of summer has been as predictable as the weather, with pop radio payola pushing some cheesy tune right before school got out until your eardrums bled. You’d hear it on the beach. You’d hear it at the pool. You’d hear it in passing cars, on television commercials, on ice cream trucks, on Boombots – even in your sleep! Record sales became CD sales became iTunes singles downloads and the music makers marketing department would laugh all the way to the bank.

This summer something wholly unexpected happened. Carly took her cheerful ditty and wedged it permanently into our heads using social media like Twitter and Youtube. Shit got real, and fast. It was number one for over nine straight weeks. Suddenly Carly was more famous than Rebecca Black and infinitely more likeable.

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If I were going to Bonnaroo . . .

A quick guide to the world-famous music festival

Bonnaroo 2012

What’s a boy to do when all he wants is to go to Bonnaroo?

He writes about it of course.

Bonnaroo, the world’s most awesome music and arts festival, is happening this week in Bumblefuck, USA, or “Manchester, Tennessee” as the locals like to call it. It starts this Thursday, June 7, and runs thru to Sunday, June 10, rain or shine.

There will be alt. rock bands. There will be rappers. There will even be comedians.

Comedians, folks – at a friggen music festival! How awesome is that???

If my pockets were a bit deeper and I owned a private jet, I’d be there. But I can’t afford pants with pockets, and I only live near an airport, so going to Bonnaroo is just a dream . . .

. . . a dream that needs a little indulging.

If I were going to Bonnaroo 2012, these are the five acts that I’d definitely want to catch:

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